Posts from — November 1999

Ok, so you’re in the heat of the battle - confused, tired, outsmarted, and sometimes even backed into a corner - and it’s the first time you’ve been on the receiving end of these words. Without a moments notice (well actually about 10 to 12 years notice…but who’s counting), you’re eye to eye, sort of, with the latest model, the new & improved, louder and bigger version of your “little baby” that overnight has developed an opinion concerning everything it took you 35 to 40 years to learn.

I love nothing more than jumping right in the middle of the messiness we see with the brand new parent of a morphing, hormonal, adolescent middle schooler. I sort of feel like those guys who chase tornados for a living. While a large majority of parents of stuck in the middle of parenting by default, reading the latest self help parenting book, and praying to God for deliverance; we’re chasing after the opportunity to be influential from day one in the most difficult season in the life of any human being: the decade of adolescence. There’s many skills I teach parents at our live events, but the most influential is “How to Decode the Rules & Practices of Your Teenagers Communication Style.

But first, a video message from our sponsor, “Children’s Chewable Valium”….

For a lot of you, there was a day when your child was the flesh & blood biological breakthrough that you “thought” everyone else wished they created! Now, let me ask you, right now, I bet your beautiful biological breakthrough is the last thing on your mind. I mean seriously, we all know biology doens’t automatically make for great parents - I mean check out Britney Spears. This new model that you’ve got, you’ll get your money’s worth! Because it’s gonna be around for at least a decade!l If you’re breathing, you’ve probably got a clue that We all know that influence as a parent that wins influential parenting that creates a healthy future for kids is much more than biology and cashflow - just take at Britney Spears. After working for 12 years with teenagers and parents and now as a counselor and coach, I’ve concluded that there are 5 to 7 crucial, equally valuable skills required to gain and keep momentum in your influence with your kid…LISTENING is one of those that propels trust, even when you’ve make way too many debits emotionally in your kids life!

LISTENING IS SCIENCE & ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS FIRST IS AN ART:

Listening Communicates your level of care. Seeking to listen will gain more momentum if you know “what” questions to ask and “how” to ask them:

1. You must ask with Empathetic Concern - No matter how ridiculous their response is. DON’T FAKE IT! They’ll know.

2.

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