Parents, Porn, Teenagers, and Homework - Coming to A Home Near You

Did you know there’s porn on the internet? Yes, I know you’re probably laughing. It is almost humorous just typing this question. But, from my experience with parents, I’m not sure how “off base” that question really is. Often after events and meetings with moms and dads, I find myself asking, “Do parents understand how much porn is available online and much of it, for FREE?” With some I even wonder, “Do this mom or dad know what porn is?” So, here’s a more serious question for those same parents. And I didn’t make it up!

Did you know that 9 in 10 kids, between the ages of 8 and 16, have viewed porn online–mostly accidentally while doing homework (UK News Telegraph, NOP Research Group, 2002).

Not so humorous is it? I’ve heard countless times, parents defend their kids amount of internet usage by saying, “my kid is safe , they only use it for homework anyway” or “it’s inconvenient to use parental controls or internet filters because it even filters out the stuff my child needs for their school project.” The irony of that second statement is that many teenagers use that excuse too. But as one teenager confessed to me, “if my parents think the internet filter is hurting me ability to do my homework, then they’ll leave it off, and anything I want to see is at my disposal,” is the teenage spin on that excuse.

So parents, how do you take back control? There are four easy steps to safeguarding your computer, it’s users, and more importantly, the hearts and minds of those living in your home!

Pureonline.com says, due to the added weight of the guilt, secrecy and shame that Christian kids feel around this issue, the problem can spiral downward quickly without the parents being aware. If your son (or daughter) is online and needs help for Internet porn addiction, here are some steps you can take:

START WITH YOU.
Is there any pornography in the home? Are you or your spouse looking at internet porn online or do you have any pornographic videos or magazines? Are you or your spouse watching inappropriate sexually charged movies in the home? If applicable, these things should be removed from the home.

TALK.
Next comes the hard part. Initiate a conversation with your son or daughter. Take some time to listen and create a nonjudgmental environment for him or her to open up to you.

LOOK.
Take time to watch your son’s or daughter’s online behavior. Look at what sites he is looking at. View the history on your home computer. Is he or she using file sharing applications like Limewire or Kazaa? Do a search on your computer for images or videos and see what you find. Don’t have your head in the sand. Take time to be interested in this problem.

ACT.
If you determine that your son or daughter is struggling with pornography, then act. Don’t react, but do act. If appropriate, talk to a Christian counselor today and begin to formulate a swift and specific plan. Contact your church or contact us if you need more ideas on what to do next. You should also consider signing up for Pure Online today to learn more about the recovery process. If appropriate, go through the course with your son or daughter.

Remember, you are the most effective weapon in dealing with pornography in your child’s life. Don’t be the parent that says:

• “My son wouldn’t look at nude pictures on the web.”
• “My house is safe because we have filtered internet.”
• “My little angel only chats with friends online and would never talk to a stranger.”

If you want to successfully deal with this problem in your home, it will require significant involvement in your kids (Internet) lives–-including asking the tough questions, and discussing the dangers. We realize talking about pornography is just as hard as talking about sex, but it is time to get out of your comfort zone. Your kids are worth it.

Did you know that Bart offers family counseling for this and other issues facing parents and teens? And because of his partnerships with local churches, his counseling services are FREE for most people and he’ll come to your home. Want more info? Send Bart An Email

Technorati Tags: bart lewis, god, Parents, Porn, pure online, teens